Current:Home > News'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds. -Streamline Finance
'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.
View
Date:2025-04-12 10:32:03
Former NFL star Michael Oher has sued the family that took him in, alleging they never legally adopted him and only sought to profit at his expense.
The legal fallout from his petition, filed in Tennessee court Monday, is still ongoing; however, many know the pain of getting betrayed, disowned or otherwise hurt by their so-called family − and mental health experts say these wounds can run deep.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, previously told USA TODAY, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement can put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The wounds of family pain run deep
Taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy while experiencing poverty and navigating the foster care system, Oher became a first-round draft pick after attending the Tuohys alma mater, Ole Miss. His life story was made into the 2009 blockbuster movie "The Blind Side" after the 2006 Michael Lewis book of the same name.
In his petition Monday, Oher alleged the Tuohy family deceived him of his legal family status and exploited his life for financial gain. He requested they stop using his name and likeness in addition to back pay for any money he may be owed.
He also said he discovered he was never legally adopted six months ago and called the situation "painful." (The Tuohy family is calling Oher’s claims of deceit "outlandish" and "transparently ridiculous," while also alleging this is not the former football player's first attempt to bring legal action against them.)
More:'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher's blockbuster lawsuit against Tuohy family explained
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III previously told USA TODAY the pain brought on by family wounds is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he said. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is also a core part of one's identity. When someone is hurt by a family member or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole said. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Rejection by one's family can also lead someone to question if something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole added, a self-doubt that can impact the other relationships that person has throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she said. "You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Michael Oher alleges 'Blind Side' family deceived him into conservatorship for financial gain
My family hurt me. What should I do?
If you're struggling with a family fracture or pain as the result of family, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano said. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole said.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger previously told USA TODAY. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she said.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stressed the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
More:Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
Contributing: Chris Bumbaca, USA TODAY; Jason Munz, Memphis Commercial Appeal
veryGood! (34)
Related
- What to watch: O Jolie night
- Bob Vander Plaats, influential Iowa evangelical leader, endorses DeSantis
- A Las Vegas high school grapples with how a feud over stolen items escalated into a fatal beating
- A robot powered by artificial intelligence may be able to make oxygen on Mars, study finds
- Person accused of accosting Rep. Nancy Mace at Capitol pleads not guilty to assault charge
- IAEA head says the barring of several nuclear inspectors by Iran is a ‘serious blow’ to monitoring
- Niall Horan says he 'might pass out' on 'The Voice' from Playoffs pressure: 'I'm not OK'
- Here's how much — or little — the typical American has in a 401(k)
- What to watch: O Jolie night
- Police identify man they say injured 4 in Beavercreek, Ohio Walmart shooting
Ranking
- Military service academies see drop in reported sexual assaults after alarming surge
- Aaron Rodgers has 'personal guilt' about how things ended for Zach Wilson with the Jets
- Nearly half of Americans think the US is spending too much on Ukraine aid, an AP-NORC poll says
- Automatic pay raise pays dividends, again, for top state officials in Pennsylvania
- Arkansas State Police probe death of woman found after officer
- Drama overload: Dissecting the spectacle of Ohio State-Michigan clash | College Football Fix
- Incoming Philadelphia mayor taps the city’s chief of school safety as next police commissioner
- King Charles III honors K-pop girl group Blackpink during South Korean president’s state visit
Recommendation
Charges tied to China weigh on GM in Q4, but profit and revenue top expectations
India in G20 summit welcomes Israel-Hamas cease-fire, urges action on climate, other issues
With no Powerball available, a Mass. woman played a different game and won $25,000 for life
Here's how much — or little — the typical American has in a 401(k)
EU countries double down on a halt to Syrian asylum claims but will not yet send people back
Czech president approves plan introducing budget cuts, taxes. Labor unions call for protests
Border crossings closed after vehicle explosion on bridge connecting New York and Canada
A robot powered by artificial intelligence may be able to make oxygen on Mars, study finds